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How to Stop Acting Like Such a Big Baby

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 01:18:06 +0000

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” —Dale Carnegie

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead; follow him on twitter.

If we really want to be happy, why do we act like such babies?

We can claim to be proactive in our life by settings goals and going after what we want. But if we’re always whining and complaining all the time, are we really living effectively?

If you don’t believe me, count how many times you complain about something or other in one day. Whether it be being stuck in traffic, being bothered by the weather, not enough mustard on your sandwich, or whatever it is, there are endless instances where you can find a reason to complain.

But it’s not just outside circumstances that we complain about. We complain about about ourselves too. We complain that we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money (this one is huge because it’s often “true”), that we’re not smart enough, cool enough, or just enough.

I know I’ve experienced plenty of unpleasantness due to complaining about things I can’t control. I never really thought about it much until I found this website about “living in a complain free world.”

Imagine how much happier you would be if you simply stopped complaining? Much of what you complain about is outside of your control anyway. What’s the point of brooding about something you have no power to change? Not very intelligent, if you ask me.

Simply becoming conscious of how much you complain is the first step to stopping. When you recognize that you’re complaining, stop and take notice of it. Ask yourself if you would rather complain, or be happy.

Are you ready to live a complaint-free, happier life?

The two steps to stop whining so much:

Make it a priority to notice every time you complain or unnecessarily criticize. This includes judging others. Now, every time you catch yourself complaining, just stop and notice it.
After you’ve noticed yourself complaining, ask yourself this: Is there anything I can do about what I’m complaining about, or it outside of my control? If there is something you can do about it, do it. If there is nothing you can do, let it go.

Obviously, this is a little easier said than done. Complaining is an addiction and a hard habit to break. Like any other habit to break, it will take time.

Even though it may be a long time (or possibly never) before you’re living completely complaint-free, that’s still okay. The good news is this isn’t all-or-nothing. Even 10% less complaining will have an immediate positive impact on your life. Then, once you’ve decreased your whining by 10%, you can keep bootstrapping your way down to complaining less and less.

After complaints show up less and less, something awesome starts to happen. Once your mind realizes that you won’t tolerate its moaning, it will begin to give up its efforts. (Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of complaining that you’re complaining.)

So the question is: Would you rather complain or be happy?

(Oh and by the way, having gratitude is a great way to stop complaining.)

This article was written by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind. For more ways to stop whining so much, grab a copy of Reclaim Your Dreams.

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How to Stop Acting Like Such a Big Baby

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5 Ways to Spend Less Time at Work

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:52:06 +0000

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from workplace expert Alexandra Levit, a Wall Street Journal writer and published author. Follow her on Twitter.

Technology is supposed to increase our productivity and reduce our work hours, yet many of us find the opposite to be true. We feel busier than ever, we stay at the office later than ever, and sometimes we leave without finishing a single task of substance! Do these five things right now and go to your family on time tonight.

1. Clear off your desk. When your office is cluttered, you’ll have the tendency to flutter around it aimlessly, without a clear sense of where you should channel your energy. I suggest thinking of every new item arriving on your desk as an insect that is infiltrating your territory. Your job is to dispose of it as quickly as possible, either by chucking it in the nearest recycling bin or putting it in its proper place. The only material on your desk should pertain to the task you’re working on at that very minute.

2. Get Your Google on. Manage your virtual world more time-efficiently by signing up for Google’s suite of offerings. The products, which include Gmail, Google Docs, Google Calendar and Google Sites, streamline tasks and facilitate collaboration among people working together on projects. Many are free, and the data are safely backed up and available everywhere you have an Internet connection.

3. Don’t buy that plane ticket. Do you really need to meet with that sales rep on the other side of the world? Video calling services like Skype, which is free and available in 28 languages, allow you to connect visually with anyone in the world via a webcam and a microphone. And what about that training seminar that will keep you out of the office for a week? Webinar technology like Cisco WebEx allows for one-way communication from an individual speaker to an audience, and it can include polling and electronic Q&A.

4. Order strategy – instead of donuts – for the team meeting. Do not call team meetings indiscriminately, and don’t put them on the calendar every week so that people take them for granted. Chit chat can be reserved for happy hour. We all know that real project work gets done outside the conference room and that we do not accomplish things simply by talking about them. Please don’t usurp an hour of valuable work time unless the meeting generates important strategy, delegates tasks to ensure team member accountability, or flags problems so that they can be managed before they get out of hand.

5. Nip procrastination in the bud. Raise your hand if you’ve spent weeks putting off a task that should only take a few hours because you know you don’t want to do it and fear you will spend too much time surfing the web and answering your e-mail? Fight the urge to put things off by breaking complex and overwhelming projects down into smaller chunks with easy starting points. After each mini-task has been completed, reward yourself with a special treat.

Alexandra Levit writes on workplace and career issues for the Wall Street Journal and is the author of They Don’t Teach Corporate in College and How’d You Score That Gig?

Source:
5 Ways to Spend Less Time at Work

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Why Your Email Inbox Is NOT a Good To-do List

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:54:07 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

New York Times techonology writer David Pogue, a writer I admire, recently listed some of his best productivity tips — and it’s a good list. One thing I noted with interest is that he uses his email inbox as a to-do list, which is a fairly common practice.

And while there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, and I’ve done it myself, I wanted to make a quick counterargument.

An email inbox isn’t the best to-do list, and here’s why:

1. You can’t change the subject lines. This means your to-do list is made up of subject lines that often have nothing to do with the action you need to take. An email that says “today’s meeting” might really be an action to call someone or send a file to someone. You’ll need to open each email to find the actions, which is very inefficient. Or, you’ll need to remember what actions are associated with each email, and that defeats the point of a to-do list … the list is supposed to remember for you, and take the stress away from your brain.

2. There might be multiple actions in each email. What if an email contains 10 to-do items? You can’t delete or archive the email when you’ve done one or two of the actions. It’ll remain in your inbox until all 10 are done, as if nothing has been done. Also, you might forget that there are multiple actions in an email and file or delete it when you’ve done one of the actions — either that or you’ll be forced to remember that there are multiple actions in the email, again defeating the purpose of a to-do list.

3. You can’t re-order the emails (usually). Many email programs (such as the wonderful Gmail) just show the emails in the order they come in. Which means if you want to put the most important items at the top, you can’t. If you want to group all the items for errands, you’ll have to create a label for that and look there. It’s not as flexible as even the most simple to-do program.

4. You can’t prioritize your to-dos. Most readers know that I’m a fan of choosing your top 3 Most Important Tasks each day (see The Power of Less and Zen To Donefor more). But you can’t list just your top 3 Most Important Tasks in email — you have to list them all. In the order they come in. It’s possible to do a workaround for this, and create a label or folder just for important tasks, but then why use your email as a to-do list? Why not use an actual to-do list that works the way it’s supposed to?

5. An email inbox contains distractions. This is probably the worst thing on this list: if you’re looking at your to-dos in email, you’re in very big danger of new emails coming in and distracting you. I think it’s a bad idea to have email on all the time — it makes it difficult to focus. I’d prefer a simple to-do list that allows you to shut off email while you’re trying to get important work done.

So what’s a better method? Simple: choose a simple to-do list and as you process your email inbox, pull out the actions to the to-do list. A notebook or index card works fine, as does a simple program such as Taskpaper (my current favorite) or even a text file in Notepad or TextEdit. If you set up a keyboard shortcut for your to-do app or file, it just takes a second to copy and paste a to-do from an email.

I’m not saying you can’t work well and get great things done using an email inbox as a to-do list. David Pogue obviously manages to get a lot done this way, and I’ve done it from time to time. But it’s not the best way, at least for those who like a simple way to find individual, actionable items, to prioritize tasks, and to work without distractions.

—
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Why Your Email Inbox Is NOT a Good To-do List

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Why You (Almost) Never See a Fat Japanese (or, How I Lost 5 lbs. in Tokyo)

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:38:21 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

One of the most striking things about my trip to Japan was how thin everyone was. I kept saying to my family, “There are no fat Japanese!”

That’s not entirely true, of course. Aside from sumo wrestlers, there are some Japanese people who are fat — but at least in my two-week trip to Tokyo, they were pretty hard to find.

Seriously: in American (including my hometown of Guam), you could walk around and half if not most of the people you see will be at least a little overweight. Many are outright obese. But in Japan, everyone is thin it seems. I could go a whole day without seeing a fat person, unless it was a tourist.

This is not groundbreaking news, I know — it’s long been known that the Japanese are among the healthiest people on Earth, with one of the lowest rates of obesity among developed nations and one of the longest average lifespans. But when you actually see it in person, it’s almost shocking.

During my stay in Japan, I formed some theories — and these won’t be groundbreaking either, but I think they’re worth reflecting on. Be aware, of course, that I’m not an expert in any related field here, and my observations are based on a two-week stay in Tokyo, and therefore are very, very limited. But here are the reasons the Japanese are not fat, in my opinion:

1. They eat a lot of seafood and veggies. It’s true that they eat red meat, and sometimes it’s fried. But red meat or poultry doesn’t seem to be the main staple of their diet as much as seafood, rice and veggies are. Meat seems to be eaten in smaller amounts (usually as a seasoning, not a main dish), or if it’s eaten in bigger amounts, it’s not an everyday occurrence. This is a generalization, of course, as is everything in this article, so there are many exceptions. Not everyone in Japan eats the same way.

2. They eat smaller portions. This is very striking, actually. While in American (and Guam) restaurants, the food is piled high in huge portions, or supersized in fast food restaurants, in Japanese restaurants the portions are … sensible. Not tiny, but definitely not large. You might get a bowl full of soup with some noodles and seafood (or meat), but if you take just the solid part it’s not a huge amount. Or you might get some seafood with rice and pickled veggies and miso soup — small amounts for each of those foods. The smaller portions is probably more important than the type of food they eat, in my opinion.

3. They walk and bike more than we do. This was pretty striking as well. It seems like everyone uses the subway stations and walks, every day. Their kids walk a good part of the way to school, instead of being dropped off by parents. And a LOT of people ride bicycles, everywhere. Usually not the kind you ride for exercise or training for races, but everyday, riding-around-the-city type of bicycles with baskets for a bag or two of groceries. This is all in contrast to us Americans, who ride cars everywhere, even to the corner store. (This is a generalization, of course — you my lovely readers are exceptions.)

It’s a combination of the walking, biking, eating smaller portions, and eating more seafood and veggies, that leads to the Japanese being pretty darn healthy in general. Any one of these changes would be a big improvement for most of us in America.

How I Lost 5 lbs. on My Summer Vacation
In just two weeks in Tokyo, without dieting or fasting, I lost 5 pounds and slimmed down.

I’m still not quite at my Leo vs. Bellyfat Challenge goal yet, but I’m getting there — I’m 17 lbs. lighter than I was when I started my challenge, all told. But the fastest fat loss during this challenge came in those two weeks.

And here’s the kicker: I wasn’t trying to lose weight!

Here’s how I did it:

1. I walked. For hours. Every day. My family and I walked all over Tokyo for two weeks — that’s me and Eva and the six kids, including one who rode around in a stroller. We walked about 15-20 minutes every morning to the subway station, then up and down stairs within the subway system (often transferring trains once or twice), then would walk for hours and hours exploring a new part of Tokyo. Then we’d repeat the subway trip and walk home, exhausted. Sometimes we’d walk for 10-12 hours in a day. Of course, we rested in between walking — stopping to enjoy a park or have a meal or a snack, or browse through a bookstore — but most of the time, we were walking. Great distances. Often hauling a 3-year-old toddler, a stroller, or a bag or two. Up and down lots of stairs and hills. It was an amazing amount of exercise, and by the end of the two weeks, my family and I were in great walking shape.

2. I ate moderate amounts. I didn’t stick to a meal plan, as I did early on in my Bellyfat Challenge, nor did I fast, as I started to do just before my Tokyo trip. I think both methods work great. But I decided to take a break from those methods during my vacation, and I didn’t worry about what or when I ate. My only thing was to eat until I was just full — to never stuff myself. I had desserts, I ate French fries (once in awhile), I ate white rice (I usually eat brown). I still ate fairly healthy most of the time, as I enjoy fruits and veggies a lot and fried foods kinda make me queasy, but I didn’t watch what I ate. I just ate moderate amounts.

These are really just my two Simple Fitness Rules, but the Tokyo tourist version of them, but they work. I didn’t have to worry as much about what I ate because I burned a ton of calories each day.

I hope to continue the walking, now that I’m back on Guam. As I’ve written about before, I’ve been walking more now that I’ve moved to a more central location here on Guam. I can walk to meetings, to restaurants, to see my sister, to the beach or playground. I’m going to step that up a little. There’s no way I can walk the ridiculous amounts I walked in Japan — I have a life, after all. But I hope to walk just about every day.

And not just for exercise — it’s important to walk with a purpose. While many of us will go walking for 30-45 minutes, for exercise, I’ve found that it’s better to walk somewhere, to do something. For example, when we walked all day around Tokyo Disneyland (which is obligatory if you have as many kids as I do), we didn’t think about walking — we were trying to get to the rides! And it was a fun (if tiring) day. On Guam, I hope to walk to places to do my work, walk with my kids to beaches and parks, go on hikes, walk on dates with my wife to restaurants and movies, walk to go on errands, and so on.

I encourage everyone to consider doing the same — you’ll be amazed at how great it feels.

Read more: Our Japan travel blog, and all our Japan photos.

Continued here:
Why You (Almost) Never See a Fat Japanese (or, How I Lost 5 lbs. in Tokyo)

If you use any of this work, please link back to - OpenSourceBlogging.org or the author’s original link as the source.

The Most Powerful Way to Get Unstuck

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:00:01 +0000

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead; follow him on twitter.

Have you ever thought about why you get stuck?

I’m sure you have. There are entire industries built around productivity. There are multitudes of books, seminars, webinars, podcasts, blog posts, desktop apps, email apps, mobile apps, and physical products centered around helping you get things done. They are supposed to help you get unstuck, right? Because if you weren’t stuck, you wouldn’t need any of those things to keep you going.

But what if you didn’t need any of those things? What if you could solve all of your “problems” with getting things done with one simple question?

So the question is: Do I care?

Sure, sometimes you may have to do things you don’t really care to do. You probably don’t care much for cleaning litter boxes and filing your taxes. That’s a given. But we’re talking about the big things here, like the work you devote your life to.

Do you care about it? Be honest with yourself. Do you really care?

If you don’t care, allow that to be okay. At least you’re acknowledging the fact that you don’t care. Now you know that it’s not a water-tight productivity system you need to get you motivated. What you need is work that you give a damn about.

The first step is allowing yourself to not care and being honest with what you do care about it. That’s where most people get stuck. A lot of people spend their lives working on things they don’t care about, because they think it doesn’t matter that they don’t care. They think they’re supposed to suck it up and deal with it. Are you one of these people that believes it doesn’t matter if you don’t care about your work? It’s okay if you are. I used to be this way, too.

Then I realized something.

I discovered that not only is it valid to care about the work you do, it’s absolutely necessary. I used to think that you didn’t have a choice, or that doing work you love was some kind of luxury for the retired or gifted. And you know why? Because we’re taught that we can’t get paid to be ourselves. We’re taught that we need to become something in order to earn a paycheck.

Here’s some refreshing news: That’s an assumption.

More refreshing still: Just because a huge number of people believe in an assumption, doesn’t mean it’s true.

A lot of people once assumed the world was flat. And a lot of people now assume that work and play are not meant to coexist, that life must be a struggle. But the simple fact is, your life is a gift. To spend that gift in drudgery and grim duty is a waste.

So here’s the question you might want to ask now: How can I do what I care about?

Here are a few suggestions:

Do something amazing.
Start a revolution.
Learn to give up caring about all the unimportant things.
Pull out all the mental weeds to allow room for the things you care about to grow.
Create a legacy project.
Do something Epic.

If you allow yourself to stop caring about the things you don’t really care about, something amazing will start to happen. Once you move out all that attentional garbage, you finally create room for the things you love to take up residence in your life.

This article was written by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind. For more unconventional ideas, grab a subscription to Illuminated Mind.

Originally posted here:
The Most Powerful Way to Get Unstuck

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All the Advice on Happiness You’ll Ever Need in One Post

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:00:03 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

If there’s an underlying theme throughout Zen Habits, besides simplifying your life, it’s finding happiness.

I’ve written dozens of articles on different ways to be happy, but it all boils down to one thing: be happy now — don’t wait for it.

Still, for those who want more depth, I’ve compiled a couple dozen of my favorite happiness articles from the archives. I hope you enjoy them! (If not, you’ve missed the point.)

Share your favorite posts with friends and family!

And more “Best of Zen Habits” posts on different topics:

Note: I’m still in Japan but I’m missing you all. Also, Japan is awesome. - Leo

Read more:
All the Advice on Happiness You’ll Ever Need in One Post

If you use any of this work, please link back to - OpenSourceBlogging.org or the author’s original link as the source.

All the Advice on Happiness You’ll Ever Need in One Post

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:00:03 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

If there’s an underlying theme throughout Zen Habits, besides simplifying your life, it’s finding happiness.

I’ve written dozens of articles on different ways to be happy, but it all boils down to one thing: be happy now — don’t wait for it.

Still, for those who want more depth, I’ve compiled a couple dozen of my favorite happiness articles from the archives. I hope you enjoy them! (If not, you’ve missed the point.)

Share your favorite posts with friends and family!

And more “Best of Zen Habits” posts on different topics:

Note: I’m still in Japan but I’m missing you all. Also, Japan is awesome. - Leo

Read more here:
All the Advice on Happiness You’ll Ever Need in One Post

If you use any of this work, please link back to - OpenSourceBlogging.org or the author’s original link as the source.

How to Kill Your Excuses

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:00:36 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

We all make excuses.

But the successful ones are those who can kill the excuses like the miserable maggots they are.

I’m too tired. I don’t have the time. I don’t feel motivated. I’d rather do nothing. I don’t have the money, equipment, space. I can’t because …

We’ve all made the excuses. Here’s how to kill them.

See the positive. Excuses are usually made because we don’t feel like doing something — we’re accentuating the negative. Instead, see the fun in something, the joy in it. And maintain a positive attitude, or you’ll never beat the excuses.
Take responsibility. Excuses are ways to get out of owning up to something. If we don’t have the time, money, equipment, etc., then it’s not our fault, right? Wrong. Take responsibility, and own the solution.
Find a solution. Just about every problem has a solution. Don’t have time? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Make the time. Wake earlier. Do it during lunch. Don’t have a gym membership? Workout at home or in the office. Don’t have the energy? Do it when you have higher levels of energy. You’re smart. Figure out the solution.
See your goal. This is your motivation — your reason for doing it. Sure, you could just lay on the couch, but if you think about why you really want to pursue a goal, you’ll be motivated. Visualize that goal and just get started.
Be accountable. Have a workout partner, a project partner, a team, someone to report to. If you have to meet a coach or partner, you’re more likely to do something.
Go ahead and make your excuses. Then do it anyway.
Watch this. Then go an do it.

—
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How to Kill Your Excuses

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How to Kill Your Excuses

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:00:36 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

We all make excuses.

But the successful ones are those who can kill the excuses like the miserable maggots they are.

I’m too tired. I don’t have the time. I don’t feel motivated. I’d rather do nothing. I don’t have the money, equipment, space. I can’t because …

We’ve all made the excuses. Here’s how to kill them.

See the positive. Excuses are usually made because we don’t feel like doing something — we’re accentuating the negative. Instead, see the fun in something, the joy in it. And maintain a positive attitude, or you’ll never beat the excuses.
Take responsibility. Excuses are ways to get out of owning up to something. If we don’t have the time, money, equipment, etc., then it’s not our fault, right? Wrong. Take responsibility, and own the solution.
Find a solution. Just about every problem has a solution. Don’t have time? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Make the time. Wake earlier. Do it during lunch. Don’t have a gym membership? Workout at home or in the office. Don’t have the energy? Do it when you have higher levels of energy. You’re smart. Figure out the solution.
See your goal. This is your motivation — your reason for doing it. Sure, you could just lay on the couch, but if you think about why you really want to pursue a goal, you’ll be motivated. Visualize that goal and just get started.
Be accountable. Have a workout partner, a project partner, a team, someone to report to. If you have to meet a coach or partner, you’re more likely to do something.
Go ahead and make your excuses. Then do it anyway.
Watch this. Then go an do it.

—
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How to Kill Your Excuses

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20 Classic Zen Habits Posts You Might Not Have Seen Yet

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:00:15 +0000

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

While I enjoy the simple beauty of Japan, and all the awesomeness it contains, I thought I’d leave you guys with some of my favorite posts from the archives. Many of you haven’t dug through the massive archives (nearly 800 posts, at least half of them pretty decent), so I decided to cull through them and find a few nuggets you might have missed.

And if you’ve already read them, here’s a chance to enjoy them a second time. I’ve always believed we should get the most enjoyment out of things as possible.

And more “Best of Zen Habits” posts on different topics:

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20 Classic Zen Habits Posts You Might Not Have Seen Yet

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